Potty Training 101’s: The 5 Step expert guide on how and when to start potty training

Potty Training 101’s: The 5 Step expert guide on how and when to start potty training

Written by: Jessica Irwin, Pediatric OT + Potty Training Expert, Rooted in Routine.

If you've been wondering when and how to actually start potty training, this post is for you. Potty training doesn't have to be a chaotic, stressful event you force your way through. When you approach it with some structure and realistic expectations, it goes a whole lot smoother.

Here's a practical, step-by-step guide at how to get started, from the earliest groundwork all the way through re-entering your normal routines with a newly potty-training toddler:

Step 1: Do the prep work and build body awareness

Before you even come close to officially removing diapers, there's valuable groundwork you can lay (and it doesn't require much effort). This stage is all about helping your child understand what their body does and what the potty is for. Here’s how to prep:

  • Read potty training books together. There are lots of great ones for toddlers that normalize the process in a fun, low-pressure way.

  • Let them watch you use the bathroom (yes, really!). Toddlers learn by watching, and seeing a trusted adult use the toilet is one of the most powerful forms of modeling you can offer.

  • Let them practice flushing. Getting familiar with the real toilet, including the parts that might feel loud or scary, helps reduce anxiety later.

  • Narrate diaper changes. When you're changing them, describe what's happening in simple terms: "You peed! Pee comes out of your body and goes in the diaper. Soon it'll go in the potty." This builds body awareness and teaches vocabulary they will need later on.

This prep phase can start as early as 12-18 months and can last days, weeks, months, or even years! There's no rush, and the more comfortable and curious your child feels going into potty training, the better.

Step 2: Introduce the potty itself

Get a little potty and put it somewhere accessible — typically the bathroom, but some families start with it in the living room or wherever their toddler spends most of their time. Then let your child get used to it at their own pace.

  • Invite them to sit on it (with or without their clothes on at first)

  • Show them how to let their stuffed animals or dolls “use” the potty. Play-based practice is key for helping toddlers learn new concepts.

  • If they're hesitant or scared, don't force it. Celebrate any curiosity or willingness to engage with it, even if nothing happens!

The goal right now is simply familiarity. You're not trying to get them to actually pee or poop in the potty — you're just making the potty a normal, safe part of their everyday environment.

Step 3: Build a daily potty-sit routine

Once your child is comfortable with the potty, start incorporating a daily sit into their existing routine. Once a day is plenty to start – maybe after waking up in the morning, before bath, or after a meal. Pair it with something they already do so it becomes routine, rather than a battle.

Keep potty-sits short (a few seconds to a few minutes max), low-key, and consistent. You’re building the habit of checking in with their body at a predictable time, regardless of whether they actually go or not. This is a gentle bridge between getting ready to potty train and actually ditching diapers.

Step 4: Say goodbye to daytime diapers

This is the biggest step, and it works best when you commit to it fully rather than going back and forth. Here's how to approach it:

  • Clear a weekend on your calendar and plan to stay home as much as possible. Having uninterrupted time at home, especially in those first 1–3 days, makes a real difference.

  • Take the diaper off and keep them bottomless if you can. Bottomless is often the most effective approach because toddlers can feel and see what's happening in their body more easily. If that doesn't feel right for your family, loose pants or underwear work too (just know that underwear can feel similar to a diaper to some kids, so accidents may happen more frequently at first).

  • Encourage them to go to the potty anytime they feel pee or poop coming. Offer gentle reminders, but try to follow their lead rather than setting a timer for a specific timeframe.

  • Expect accidents! This is not failure and does not mean you’re doing something wrong or your child wasn’t ready. Every accident is information for their developing brain about what it feels like when they need to go.

Step 5: Re-enter your regular routines

After those first few days at home, it's time to start venturing back out into the world! And yes, this part comes with its own learning curve. Going back to daycare or preschool, riding in the car, visiting grandma's house, running errands — all of these are new contexts your child has to figure out how and where to fit the potty into. Here are some tips:

  • Build a "before we leave" potty sit into your getting-ready routine every single time.

  • Communicate with caregivers and teachers so everyone is using consistent language and prompts.

  • Expect more accidents during transitions. A child who is doing great at home may struggle more when they're excited, distracted, or in an unfamiliar environment.

  • Keep your go-bag stocked (extra clothes, wet bag, wipes) until accidents are rare and predictable.

Re-entering routines is its own phase of potty training and it’s normal for there to be hiccups along the way. Give it some time for you both to learn!

One more thing: Let’s talk about the "3-day method" myth

Let's end by talking about realistic expectations, because it’s easy to get discouraged if your expectations are off.

Potty training is a developmental skill. It takes time to learn, just like walking or talking. The idea that it all clicks in a single long weekend is (for most children!) a myth. The first three days kickstarts the beginning of the learning experience, but most children take a few weeks or even months to fully “get it” (and progress really happens in a straight line).

There will likely be days where everything seems to be going great, followed by a week where accidents are back. There will be wins and setbacks and everything in between. That is normal. That is not regression, failure, or a sign that you started too early. It is part of the process!

Be patient with your child AND with yourself. And follow your gut – if you’re feeling lost, overwhelmed, and like nothing is working, it’s never a bad thing to seek out further support. There is so much more nuance to potty training than any single blog post can cover, and getting the right information from the right professionals for your child's specific situation can make all the difference.

Want a deeper, step-by-step guide tailored to your child’s specific stage and needs? The Rooted Potty Method walks you through every single phase, with real-time support along the way.

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